A few years back, I decided to pack all of my stuff and head somewhere far away from all the good memories that I wanted to bury deep enough that nobody could ever unearth. Life was not exciting anymore; going to work was a struggle every day and it seemed like frustrations were all over me. So, one morning I decided to finally do something.
First thing on the list: find a new job somewhere far.
It didn’t take long before an irresistible opportunity landed before my eyes. I knew instantly this was what I wanted, the one that I’ve been waiting for so long. After some not-so-thorough thinking, the green light was on and I was on my journey to yet another big challenge.
These days, whenever that feeling of being alone hits me, I just tell myself that this is one of the consequences of getting what I wanted. Maybe this is the price I have to pay for getting the kind of career success I’m enjoying now. Whenever I feel like being stabbed in the back by those people who want to see me fail; I tell myself to be still, to be strong, to keep moving forward but turn and fight back if necessary.
Sometimes I think that if it was not for a failed relationship and an extremely broken heart, I wouldn’t be where I am right now, physically and professionally. I may not have someone to cuddle up with at the end of a stressful day, I may not have someone to cheer me up and tell me “don’t stress yourself too much darling, everything’s gonna be alright” when things go beyond my control, I may not have someone to go on holidays with or someone who would cook my favorite red sauce pasta when he’s home and I’m working, someone to have coffee with after a long walk at the mall, and most of all, someone to enjoy life with… yes I don’t have it all now…. but at the end of the day, I’m still thankful and happy for all that I have now.
When the L word hits me, I just tell myself… “Maybe one day, it will land before your eyes unexpectedly.” For now, I have accepted the fact that I can’t have everything and maybe he is still too focused on his career as well that’s why we haven’t had the chance of meeting yet.
Someday soon… I know we will meet each other, whoever you are and wherever you are right now. I just don’t know how soon is soon… see you 😉